5 - Overwrought Tale of Misfortunes

For the star-crossed lovers in the Hong Kong-Singaporean romantic film "Turn Left, Turn Right," timing is an enduring problem. It becomes one for the audience as well: Longing for a childhood friend, clearly destined for each other, but soon their twisting and silly road to find each other again suggests only impatience.

How to kill yourself with a HQ photo 101

Directed by Johnnie To and Wai Ka-Fai, the film is not without flashes of charm amid its clichés, and leads the characters of Takeshi Kaneshiro as John Liu and Gigi Leung as Eve Choi long for each other appealingly. Their delayed pleasure plays out over the years, after Eve lost her bag that contains John’s phone number. The characters’ desire to meet each other since the day they met again, and got separated once more built an idea that defines love as the most powerful emotion that most of us will ever experience. Even if they are both sick and tired, they do their best to connect with each other again while troubles came in their way. 

In general, this was a cunning directed film with positive, amusing characters and is perfect for one who’s eyeing for a bittersweet love story. I learned a lot from the movie particularly that sometimes you have to take few risks to get what you want in life, and that no matter what happens, it is always possible that one day you will find what you are looking for. Happenings in one’s life are unexpected. Yet occasionally, all you need is faith – the bond John and Eve shared was exceptional and if anyone finds a love one like that in their lives, they are truly lucky. It suggests only that true love will always find a way to come back. I did look beyond to the heart of the story and found it really charming, thus, the plot really touched my heart and made me smile throughout watching the movie. The tones of the script and eventual ending are what make the film delightful.

Both are convinced

That a sudden surge of emotion bound them together

Beautiful is such a certainty

But uncertainty is more beautiful.

P.S. If you're looking for the movie, click play and thank me later.

4 - The Enemy in the Mirror

Let’s admit it, if we will go back in what we have learned during our previous history classes, we will consider Antonio Luna as one of the incomprehensible figures, as we haven’t know much about his story. However, in Jerrold Tarog’s Heneral Luna, starring John Arcilla, we saw that Luna played an important role towards our country's liberation through his challenges as the commander of the Philippine revolution during the American Occupation. The movie describes how Luna’s life, and how his constant fidelity and patriotism to the country become the reason of his own breakdown.

Heneral Luna is not only a work of art, but a gift to the nation in a different vital moment of its past. It touches one’s emotions and make one ponder, which are two important elements of a good movie. It revealed Luna’s role in the fight for freedom that cannot be ignored and the actual violence of war, the blood and sweat of Filipinos who brawled for freedom. Until the end, Luna displayed exceptional courage in front of his enemies, which brought important message to very one of us: to face our demons boldly. This idea opened my mind to what is the reality we are living in, that even before, our greatest enemy is ourselves. Take as an example of people blaming the government for everything miserable happening to the society, but can’t even make simple changes to themselves. How ironic right? Even until now, our nation is filled with people pulling each other down, just to prove something, instead of seeing the brighter side of an idea that will surely benefit others the most.

If you’ve already watched the film, and you come out of thinking what has happened to humanity, I believe that it is a part of a bigger picture. It may even be losing the greater point, that our history is occupied of teachings about ourselves; lessons, that apparently, we have yet to apply, lessons that we reject. The glitches that were present in our society back then are the same ones that we are still facing now. The time has changed; the wounds have not.

“Progress is impossible without change, 
and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

- George Bernard Shaw

Nevertheless, the film made me feel more proud to be a Filipino, like most historical films do. We need more 'eye-opening' movies like this. Other than the film itself, we need to rethink and wake up, and stand for our nation before future will leave us with nothing but ourselves.

3 - My Daily Doses of Heartaches

Yes, you read it right. Heartaches. I’m so used to them. Almost every day, I get to experience heartaches; at least not just in the aspect of love. It feels like my daily life will never be the same if I do not feel some sort of it.

My definition of heartache is to a certain degree near to disappointment. Yes, I always disappoint myself. Disappointments are one of the things that I cannot live without, like a person having maintenance medicine for the rest of his life. Every time I am disappointed, I am stunned by the emotions. A day without disappointments is beyond in my wildest dreams. I mean, who doesn’t want to live in a world without disappointments? Who doesn’t want to make everything perfect by the snap of one’s finger? I wish I didn’t have to make mistakes before learning from them.

I remember when I was a kid (and even up at this present time); I have been so used to imperfection, that even in my everyday life, I loathe it. I will never deny that at some points, I want to be better, but half of me dislike perfection because this means people will talk about you and when they do, it is more likely something against you. I never really like it when people talk about me. I like attention, but the mere fact that people talk about me for any kind of reason it is, it upsets me, makes me lose my mind and my motivation.

Though it gives me miserable feeling, I suddenly started accepting it. The feeling of heartaches (disappointments) is so astonishing; it makes me think over and over again. I like overthinking thinking a lot even though my head gets so drained and painful after all. The pain given by heartaches is too beautiful to be described but in a nutshell, these heartaches make me feel that I can always be a better person; that every downfall I’ve been through leads to something big in the future. These heartaches remind me that I can always develop what I’ve already started and that there is always a room for improvement in every mistake I commit.

I just like the feeling but I never like it when I am the one who tears the hearts of others. That is a very different thing, okay? I just like it when I am the one who feels it and not others.

2 - First Things First

Let’s face it – we are living in a world full of unanticipated changes. We encounter different things as each day goes by. From dreams when we were very young to the things we are expected to do today, it only shows that we are individuals of change. But, why do we change? Have you ever wondered how a joyful, positive person suddenly turns into a creature of grief and pain? How does three hours of traffic from school to home changes one’s mood? How do we become so religious and prayerful when we face major life complications? How? Why?

In some point, most of us will absolutely answer that our priorities change due to numerous life circumstances that we face in our daily lives, but that answer does not suit my longing for the answer to this question. The idea still clings, like how most of us wondered to what has happened before. I badly need answers but I’m stuck in this emptiness.

“How does one become so happy then become sad after an hour or two? Why do we change our feelings for a person whom we have loved for long already when we meet somebody along the way? Why do we feel that our lives become so worthless when we lose somebody over death? Why do we need to move on if we have had been happy treasuring every moment from the past? Why it is not easy to forgive and be forgiven? How do we forget something we had grown so much with?”

These are some of the questions I want to know but don’t know where to find the answers. If I will be given any chance to talk to someone who can give the answers, I will definitely not hesitate to ask these questions. But more than the answers, I feel tougher today as compared before because of the whole lot of things I learned, especially on priorities in life.

I have grown as a person, and I realized that I have been tired of waiting for people. If you’ve had known me well, then you would know that I am one of the most patient – if not the most patient – person ever. You could make me wait for hours and I wouldn’t be mad at you. It came into a point, when I finally realized nobody deserves to wait for something without knowing what will happen next; that I don’t deserve waiting on someone to prioritize me.

If a person does not feel your absence, then your existence is and will never be appreciated. It really takes a lot of courage to take these things all up but that is the reality – we can never be everybody’s priority. I’ve learnt to accept that in spite of being good to most people around you, they wouldn’t mind leaving you at all, most especially if you have done them wrong, even just for once. We can never please everybody. This point contributes to the changing of main concerns in this life. The exact best thing that we could do about is to take that few people would stay with us and a lot would go the other way around. That is the cruel but honest fact about living in a world full of priorities.

WE cannot give something that we didn’t really have in the first place.

WE can never pretend to be happy.

WE can stop if we are tired.

WE should not stop aiming.

WE should work our way to the top.

WE can never be the same person few years back.

WE can never be someone else to replace the absence of others.

WE can get hurt if we want to.

WE can get sad, too.

But most of all,

WE can be a priority, too – one day, one way or another, we will be.

1 - An Encounter

Living in a world having different people with different views and perceptions, I wonder how someone can assume anything about anyone without first getting to know that person. All of us are different, from personality to interests and character to goals. Getting to know someone is not easy, but the best way to cope up with it is through conversation. When talking is not an option, writing can be a good substitute. But writing something that makes a person stand out from the rest would be impossible. A writer will end up finding himself tangled in voiceless bewilderment, incapable of finding accurate words to describe that indefinable something. One can only touch on wide topics and hit few keynotes, which is why for me, describing myself in limited words seems so complicated and not that easy.

Anyways, this is how it was...

Growing up, people would always joke about how much of a tough boy I was. They would always call me by my father’s name, saying that I had his face and his attitude. I would always find a way to defend myself. Of course, I’m not saying I’ve always been the better person at all times. I’ve had ‘my bad’ moments here and there, like everyone else. But recently, I’ve been asking myself, “What would my parents do?” in hopes that it would lead me to the mature path in whatever condition I find myself in. The reason behind this is because my parents are two of the nicest persons I know. No matter how many times they have been shunted to the ground, they still manage to get right back to their feet with a brighter smile. They always tell me that at the end of every problem is solution. We fight a lot, to tell you the truth, but I wouldn’t have asked for better parents to guide Ate Mona, Kuya Evan and I through the years.

Music lifts my spirit. I often spend my leisure time listening to music, particularly to alternative rock music. For me, a day without listening to any song in my playlist is a day wasted. It had been for part me ever since. One way it influences my life is that it helps me to process every emotion. It's a way of acknowledging what I'm going through and even identifying the pattern of events that led up to feeling a certain feeling. Alternative songs I listen to, which suit my ever-changing mood, have its perfect meaning like it was made only for me. In this sense, this genre of music is a way of tuning into and making sense of my emotional life. No matter what’s going on, for about four minutes, in my head I am captured, tangled in the words, melody, beat, and course of the song I am listening to.

When it comes at first impression, people find me very laid back. I won’t talk as long as I can help it. I know in myself I am different with being shy. It is just that I am quiet and chill, and nothing else. Being silent, at some points, is where I find my inner peace. I feel it makes me more inclined to listen and calmly rationalize my thoughts and opinions, before I say something. I consider that having this personality makes me treasure my friends more. It is not easy to open up for new set of people every time, which is why I’d rather strengthen my grip on them. If you will ask my friends how our relationship came to be, they will all answer you the same way: It just happened. We clicked together. We have realized that each of us is willing to put an effort into a friendship that we’ve considered worth it. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. And so, it works. Here, I could say that sometimes, the best things in life happen without one’s notice. Nobody asked anybody if they could be friends, because if any other person in my circle of friends, including me, said yes, there wouldn’t be a common ground for us to stand on. Even though there is no perfect friendship, where misunderstandings are inevitable, we make sure that at the end of the day, our relationship is much stronger than ever before. Plus, I guess every person who keeps their friends wants to look back one day and say, “Hey guys, the story of how we became friends is really awesome, isn't it?”

Learning a lot of experiences from many facets of life until now made the most out of me. Since I’m still young and have few life experiences, I know that there are countless rooms of opportunities I am going to encounter. Each one waits for me and entering in one may bring delight, hope, sorrow, disappointment and many more. But in the end, I’m sure that each choice I will make will bring a lesson that will build my personality and perceptions, which I can use in more established decision making in life.