Dear Alfredo,
It
has been almost eight years from the moment I met you in the dinner party and today,
I’ve come to realize that everything about you was all different from what you are
today.
Back
then, with all of the things that we do, I didn’t know how you made me fell in
love with you. Those were the days where I felt I deserved nothing special but
your existence and actions spoke to me otherwise. I didn’t know how you have
done that but I surely wouldn’t want to know it anymore. I’d took it as your greatest
secret to me. I didn’t even know what else to say when you keep telling me that
you adore and love me; but it brought happiness and at the same time, fear to
me.
The
happiness that I felt with you during our small talks is honest and free. I
feared the day when we were already there and we didn’t know what’s next for
us. I feared what might happened next when we became who we want us to be
someday. All that was inside of my head was all like “If all else fails, we still have each other though. What matters the
most is the present.” I choose to live by the moments when I’m alone with
you. We thought our future as if it would never be shaped by our present life,
but rather, with the choices we have made together.
But
the moment I feared the most came. You left me.
Day
by day, I thought of you, then I started to lose my motivation to accomplish
everything that I have to do in life. I felt lost and odd. The feeling was like
there is something that is removed upon you which can never be healed by
anything. They all say it’s all part of giving the love for the wrong person but
I don’t think it is really supposed to be like this. I lost my youth, waiting
that one day, you might come back.
There
was silence in my head that was deafening. I wanted to scream and tell everyone
how painful and heartbreaking that was but I guess they wouldn’t understand it
all. Maybe that earsplitting silence was just what I needed the most at that
time. Maybe I was really meant to be noiseless after all.
Today,
I know we’ve grown and developed so much as individuals and I think that’s the
best part of the whole thing about it – nothing stops us from growing. It’s
been a good, long run for us and I believed that it ended there. Our love for each other still shines through, like stars in the sky, but it will
never be the same as like we’ve had before. As we go through life, I hope you will find your true happiness ...and so as I.
Love,
Julia
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