2 - First Things First

Let’s face it – we are living in a world full of unanticipated changes. We encounter different things as each day goes by. From dreams when we were very young to the things we are expected to do today, it only shows that we are individuals of change. But, why do we change? Have you ever wondered how a joyful, positive person suddenly turns into a creature of grief and pain? How does three hours of traffic from school to home changes one’s mood? How do we become so religious and prayerful when we face major life complications? How? Why?

In some point, most of us will absolutely answer that our priorities change due to numerous life circumstances that we face in our daily lives, but that answer does not suit my longing for the answer to this question. The idea still clings, like how most of us wondered to what has happened before. I badly need answers but I’m stuck in this emptiness.

“How does one become so happy then become sad after an hour or two? Why do we change our feelings for a person whom we have loved for long already when we meet somebody along the way? Why do we feel that our lives become so worthless when we lose somebody over death? Why do we need to move on if we have had been happy treasuring every moment from the past? Why it is not easy to forgive and be forgiven? How do we forget something we had grown so much with?”

These are some of the questions I want to know but don’t know where to find the answers. If I will be given any chance to talk to someone who can give the answers, I will definitely not hesitate to ask these questions. But more than the answers, I feel tougher today as compared before because of the whole lot of things I learned, especially on priorities in life.

I have grown as a person, and I realized that I have been tired of waiting for people. If you’ve had known me well, then you would know that I am one of the most patient – if not the most patient – person ever. You could make me wait for hours and I wouldn’t be mad at you. It came into a point, when I finally realized nobody deserves to wait for something without knowing what will happen next; that I don’t deserve waiting on someone to prioritize me.

If a person does not feel your absence, then your existence is and will never be appreciated. It really takes a lot of courage to take these things all up but that is the reality – we can never be everybody’s priority. I’ve learnt to accept that in spite of being good to most people around you, they wouldn’t mind leaving you at all, most especially if you have done them wrong, even just for once. We can never please everybody. This point contributes to the changing of main concerns in this life. The exact best thing that we could do about is to take that few people would stay with us and a lot would go the other way around. That is the cruel but honest fact about living in a world full of priorities.

WE cannot give something that we didn’t really have in the first place.

WE can never pretend to be happy.

WE can stop if we are tired.

WE should not stop aiming.

WE should work our way to the top.

WE can never be the same person few years back.

WE can never be someone else to replace the absence of others.

WE can get hurt if we want to.

WE can get sad, too.

But most of all,

WE can be a priority, too – one day, one way or another, we will be.